Our Journey #2: Togetherness

From the other blog

posted THURSDAY, AUGUST 21, 2008

Saying Goodbye

The first time we said goodbye was the easiest. We didn't know what to expect and we knew we'd be seeing each other again in the next couple of months after Braden was done with his training and before the deployment to Iraq. We drove to the airport, hugged, kissed, cried, took pictures, and away he flew, into the unknown.


We talked daily. While Braden was in the states training he had a cell phone and easy access to pay phones, so things weren't that bad at the beginning. I sent him pics of our growing girl and my growing belly, along with lengthy emails detailing our days and how he was missed. Not too much of the missing stuff, though, as it helped none of us to dwell on that. We purchased a video camera right before he left and I documented with that as well.

Just a month and a half after Braden left, we had the opportunity to fly out to a city near his base and visit on one of his weekends off. Plane ticket prices were atrocious, but it was worth every penny and more to see him, hold him, and laugh with him again, just for a couple of days. In the days before we flew out, I went back and forth quite a bit, trying to decide if I should take my one year old with me or not. I decided to take her in the end and am so glad I did. She was such an angel the whole trip, sleeping most of the time every plane ride, and behaving so well all the rest of the time. She was so excited to see her daddy when he met us at the hotel and ran straight into his arms. We saw all the sights we could cram into the weekend and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Then came time to say good bye once again. This time was much, much harder. We now knew the loneliness, the aching, the changes we would be parting for, and we did not want it, but, like I said before, someone had to do it and it was a sacrifice we had to make.

My heart seemed to be ripping apart as we drove away to catch our flight the last morning of our trip. Braden stood at the curb of the hotel, his hand raised in farewell, visibly fighting back the tears. I cannot explain the emotions, they were too overwhelming to be able to put into words. All I can say is that I never wanted to feel them again. But there were more goodbyes to come, more new emotions to feel and learn from in the ensuing months.

The cab driver was friendly and tried to make conversation when we first began our drive, but I didn't trust myself to speak, or even think. I just sat staring out the window, my baby girl in my arms, struggling with tears and realizing Braden wouldn't hold his baby girl again for many more weeks. After that, who knew how long it would be before he felt her chubby little arms around his neck and heard her sweet little voice saying his name.

After we arrived at the airport it was easier. My mind was busy with checking luggage, finding our gate and entertaining a baby. Addy made a friend at the airport, a little boy about 3 years old who loved her bright green shirt and followed her all around the terminal. His parents ended up being retired from the Navy and they sympathized with my plight. I was ever grateful for someone who understood what it was like and gave such words of encouragement and hope. I needed it then and would rely on others more than ever as my true journey as a soldier's wife began.

Posted SATURDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2008

Together Again for A Moment

The next time we saw each other was a few weeks later in California. Braden's unit was there, finishing up their training, so another wife and I got together and drove out to pick our soldiers up, instead of waiting another day for them to drive home. One thing to be understood about these kinds of situtations is that every moment is precious. If one more hour, one more moment can be had, we take it, no matter the cost!

I was nervous to make the drive. I had been able to avoid ever driving anywhere more than a few miles outside of my hometown, and I would be driving a borrowed vehicle in California traffic! Things went fairly smoothly, though, and I wasn't required to drive through any big cities, other than Vegas. That in itself is an adventure, but we survived! We did have one situation where we had to pull over to the side of the road and take care of some kid issues. Finally, we arrived at the base safe and mostly sound, went through the checkpoint, and searched for our soldiers. There they were, walking along the side of the road, handsome in their uniforms, eyes lit up as they recognized us.

It's a funny thing to be reunited after weeks or months of separation. I felt kind of shy, like a first date feeling, though I was carrying his child, had given birth to another, and we had been married for 2 1/2 years! The shy feeling was quickly overcome as he held me tightly in his arms and we remembered each other again.

We were able to book a room at the hotel on base. This was another little miracle because we had called rather late and at first nothing was available, then only smoking rooms were available (me being pregnant, that wasn't going to work), then, at last, after a few more phone calls, a suitable room opened up. I'm wondering if the front desk just kicked someone out of a room so the crazy pregnant lady would quit calling!

After we checked in to our rooms, the guys took us on a tour of the base. It was a fairly depressing place and I felt for the soldiers who had to spend weeks and months there, training and looking forward to nothing but more of the same or worse after getting to Iraq. They had a small movie theater and a couple of fast food restaurants as well as a small shopping center to buy odds and ends. The soldiers whose families couldn't come pick them up stayed outside in large tents filled with bunk beds. There were outhouses scattered every few hundred yards outside the tents and a few small kiddie pools where soldiers sat on folding chairs, cooling their tired feet. I almost wished I hadn't come and seen how Braden had been living. If it was like this training in the US, how would it be overseas in the middle east?

"Tank Crossing"